The Horns of Nimon

The Horns of Nimon follows in the far-from-august footsteps of Underworld, in taking inspiration from Greek myth. This time, the unfortunate Hellenic tradition to be so honoured is the story of Theseus and the Minotaur. Again, the script is not a completely uninspired reworking of the story. The Nimon are not a race insincerely promising to grant their knowledge to a benevolent but naïve population, but to the remnants of an empire that will use that knowledge to conquer and subdue. The idea on the Nimon as ‘space locusts’ is also a good one and the fact that the ‘labyrinth’ in the story is actually a circuit to channel the energy in the Power Complex is intriguing. However, the script as a whole lacks the verve that is required to make it truly memorable and lacks the payoff that it should have had.

However, that is the beginning of the problems of the story. The set design is tepid, as is the costume design. The Nimon costumes consist of bull masks, lycra bodysuits and platform boots, which means the actors wearing them have to walk in a ridiculous way to stop themselves from falling over. This is a pity, as their voices are fantastic. Kenny McBain’s visual direction is totally uninspired- at no point does he convey the ‘labyrinth’ as even a maze, let alone a shifting circuit. The performances are very disappointing- Simon Gipps-Kent is totally unconvincing as Seth (Theseus) and Janet Ellis (for whom it is mandatory for British men over 40 to have had a crush on) shows that she was no great shakes as an actress. But, of course, there is one performance that everyone remembers. Graham Crowden is...unforgettable as Soldeed, but, it has to be noted, although he is florid and sometimes completely over the top, it is not a bad performance- in fact it is one of the few things that makes the story worth watching. The regulars seem to be enjoying themselves and Tom Baker and Lalla Ward put in good performances throughout.

The main problem with the story is tone. Apologists will claim that it is not meant to be taken seriously, yet it seemed to me that the story does exactly that, but has bizarre moments of silliness, the worst of which is when the TARDIS breaks down, making a sound that makes use of every sound effect in the Goon Show arsenal. As with many stories in this season, there are ‘jokes’ but the only time I actually laughed was whenever the Skonnan Co-Pilot hisses ‘Weakling scum!’ as the Anethans. Some have pointed to the broadcast date have stated that this is Doctor Who the pantomime but, unless you were shouting out ‘he’s behind you’ in the scene where the Doctor and co are hiding in plain sight from a Nimon, the story has little to offer as festive entertainment.

In the end, this is a story that, were it not for one very entertaining performance, would be dull in the extreme.

NEXT: Shada