Time and the Rani

The 24th season of Doctor Who saw a considerable change in style, evident at the start by yet another arrangement of the theme tune (the least successful one so far) plus a whole new title sequence. Most notable of all is the presence of a new Doctor, with the Sixth Doctor unceremoniously regenerating at the beginning, for no apparent reason. However, that is only the beginning of this story’s problems.

Pip and Jane Baker have received a lot of flak from Doctor Who fans, some of it wholly unjustified. The Mark of the Rani was one of the highlights of Colin Baker’s first season and their contributions to The Trial of a Time Lord were worthwhile. It also has to be said that, whatever their faults as writers, they appear to be genuinely lovely people. However, it appears that they were working well outside their comfort zone with this story- The Mark of the Rani was a historical, Terror of the Vervoids was a Christie mystery in space. Time and the Rani is pure sci-fi and, as I have pointed out, another criticism that can be levelled at the Bakers is that they fail to see the distinction between quirky and silly. The basic plot is the Rani wishing to detonate an asteroid composed of strange matter in order to create a giant time manipulator so that she can play God. To do that, she has gone to the planet Lakertya and subdued its population with the aid of the Tetraps, bat-like humanoids. So far, so good. However, the story progresses in increasingly preposterous ways- the Rani dresses up as Mel to make the Doctor fix her device, Beyus shouts the combination to the outer door because he overhears the Doctor expressing sympathy for the Lakertyans, the Doctor tying up the Rani with a scarf. Episode 3, in particular, is totally superfluous and one of the longest 25 minutes of my life. Characterisation is very basic, with stock types like ‘collaborating leader’ and ‘hot-headed youngster’ being deployed. The story is based on some very poor science- this would not matter normally, but it is crucial to the plot. Firstly, you would never have an asteroid made of strange matter, you would have a spherical ‘quark star’, as it would be so massive that its gravity would make it spherical. Secondly, it would probably have a gravity at least equal to the Earth’s sun, meaning that it would be impossible to ‘miss’ it with a missile- in fact it would probably attract Lakertya itself towards it. Even if you ignore this, the dénouement is still very lazy plotting. There are some nice script touches- the Doctor’s chaotic personality causing schizophrenia in the Rani’s super-brain, for example. However, they are few and far between in the script, which is certainly not improved by the Bakers penchant for writing florid, overblown dialogue really coming to the fore here- my favourite being ‘A hologram! As substantial as the Rani’s scruples!’ Still, it could have been worse- have a read of Andrew Cartmel’s book Script Doctor to see the full horror of what they wanted to do!

In the story’s defence, it certainly looks very good. Visually, Andrew Morgan directs with great energy and, apart from the cartoony nature of the early CGI shots at the start, the special effects are excellent, particularly the wonderful bubble traps. The Lakertyans are quite well realised- I like their alien running poise, in particular and the Tetraps are also impressive. However, there is still the gaudy look typical of the Colin Baker era- his coat is present in the first episode- which means that Lakertya has a pink sky. The performances are as good as they can be, considering the overblown dialogue the actors have to say, indicating that Morgan was not as proficient with actors. Of the guest performers, Kate O’Mara stands head and shoulders over the others. Despite her being Dynasty’d up and being written as a more stock villain, she clearly loves the part. The one saving grace of the Rani impersonating Mel is that she makes a better Mel than Bonnie Langford. I have to say that Langford is more at ease in the role, and a little less annoying- but she still grates. I can’t stand the fact that she is supposed to be a strong woman and then stops and screams at monsters (unless the Doctor told her about the events of Fury From the Deep and she is, in fact, deploying her larynx as a weapon!) So, to the Doctor. Sylvester McCoy pratfalls, spoonerises and plays the spoons, but there is something refreshingly homespun about his portrayal. It is a great relief to see him ditch that abomination of a coat and things on this front, look good.

Time and the Rani is not the total disaster some have said it is- there have been many stories that are worse. It is well made and reasonably entertaining, but it is wholly without any real substance and full of moments of sheer preposterousness.

NEXT: Paradise Towers