The Space Pirates

Robert Holmes returns with this story about pirates. In space. Anyway, shipments of aragonite have been stolen by these interstellar buccaneers and they have now started attacking space beacons which are made of this precious metal. The opportunistic Milo Clancy seems to be the prime suspect, but who is the real culprit?

There is nothing wrong with taking the tropes of pirate stories and westerns and locating them in outer space. A good case in point is Joss Whedon’s Firefly, one of the greatest works of television sci-fi of all time. The basic storyline of The Space Pirates could have been used in an episode of Firefly, but it would have had the advantage of a well-thought out back story and engaging characters and it is the lack of these that makes The Space Pirates fail. There are hints of Holmes’ future talent for world building and the basic plot is by no means bad. However, there is no need for this story to be four episodes in length, much less six. It takes an agonising 15 minutes before the TARDIS appears in episode one, and it is only at the end of episode two that the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe even meet with any of the supporting characters. There are vast quantities of padding throughout, which are murder to get through some of the time.

This is a pity as the surviving episode and clips show excellent production values with the best model shots yet seen in the series, which would only be surpassed in 1986. The sets and costumes are excellent, as is the music. The supporting cast are generally good, especially Jack May as General Hermack, a hugely under-written role. However there are two actors whose performances are problematic. Dudley Foster might have compensated in his physical performance, but vocally, he seems to lack the presence for Caven, the major villain. I suppose it is refreshing that they didn’t make Caven a literal space pirate, making Dervish walk a space plank and whatnot. Far more seriously, Gordon Gostelow is absolutely terrible as Milo Clancey. He appears to be trying to impersonate American actor Pat Buttram, but bizarrely, seems to lapse into Harold Steptoe sometimes. What with his futile effort to maintain an accent and his lethargic body language, he fails to emote effectively. Clancey is a nicely written character, but jars both visually (he dresses as a prospector from the Wild West) and thematically with the story and is a major distraction. Because he is such a key character, the story suffers as a result.

Needless to say, the regulars again put in good work- Troughton has some great comic moments, such as when he falls on the bag of drawing pins he has about his person (‘I like drawing pins!) and uses marbles to overpower a guard. However, this story has very little in it to attract the viewer and is eminently skippable.

NEXT: The War Games